Avast Reveals That Young Users Have Set Up Shop On Discord, Selling Harmful Malware

Kids are reportedly utilizing Discord in order to sell malware online, setting up an illicit marketplace of sorts using the platform.

Wow, that’s quite the headline to take it: Tiny Tots Try Truancy Through Tricky Trades. Sorry, that was my attempt at being a news journalist from New York during the 40’s. Back to our regularly scheduled program: this worrying bit of news was uncovered via security researchers from Avast, who were probably more bemused by the situation rather than anything else. Then again, funny as I find the situation, I’m hardly in shock. You’re telling me that children in their teens or early tens managed to find a get-rich-quick scheme and decided to go for it? Stop the presses, this is the most awe-inspiring news I’ve heard since dolphins learned to swim. Seriously, kids are irresponsible, stuff like this has probably been happening for a very long time, and will continue to happen in the future. Not that I’m condoning such behavior, just to be sure: I’m simply displaying some form of sympathy for our Small Schoolkids Skipping Scoldings, Selling Software. There, that’s my final attempt at the New Yorker bit, I’m begrudgingly moving onwards.

Oh, but this story only gets more and more hilarious as it moves on. For starters, turns out that the children are really into team building, since they’re working together on upgrading and upselling already available forms of malware such as Lunar or Rift. Normally you can’t get kids to work together on a tree fort, but more power to them I guess? Second of all, the reason these individuals were identified as being minors by Avast is because they continually kept bringing up parents and teachers in their vernacular. Best of all is the fact that Avast confirmed their initial hypothesis by, and get this, observing their online discourse and noting a pattern of age-related insults. Maybe I have a stunted sense of humor, but the thought of a scientific research, in tweed attire and horn-rimmed glasses, scribbling notes and making “hmm” sounds over kids insulting each other’s moms like it’s a CS: GO lobby is hilarious to me.

In order to join the group for purchases and such, fees ranging from €5 to €25 must be paid to admins. Honestly, I feel like this is a ridiculously lucrative endeavor for high school kids, and I’d want to join them if not for those pesky morals and whatnot. The group’s also got an incredibly diverse market of malware, ranging from info-stealers, brute forcing software for passwords, and even kits for ransomware attacks. This is where I drop my light-toned writing, since all of this is incredibly dangerous tech, especially in the hands of children who haven’t fully developed their moral compasses.

I’d honestly talk more about potential solutions, such as parents looking after their kids more or whatnot, but that sounds incredibly disingenuous to me. I’m not a parent, and to chide other parents whose stories I am completely unaware of isn’t my cup of tea. However, we’ve all grown up in a corporate environment where the hustle is glorified above all else, even one’s own mental and physical health; can we really be surprised by such outcomes? I can almost hear the headlines: Capitalistic Children Claim Corporate Culture Cultivated Crime!

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