Patient Social Networking Websites: Their Disorder And Diagnosis

You've probably heard and aware about different human diseases, but could social networks (like Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and other popular websites) get sick. Hooo! This is a serious problem, let see the virtual diseases of the world's most popular websites from the eyes of social doctor.

Patient : Facebook

Diagnosis : Dissociative Identity Disorder
Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this is seen in websites that have the presence of two or more distinct identities. In this case, the identities appear highly unstable, changing from year to year, sometimes month to month, independent of the internal chaos that occurs within the site.

Patient : Twitter

Diagnosis : Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Website has a severely limited attention span. Tweets concerning the Iraq war, Justin Bieber, and favorite character in Friday Night Lights occur within seconds of each other and trending topics are random and constantly changing.
The site's hyperactivity limits its development. Investigation of the website reveals users with significant difficulty with basic English (i.e. 98% chance of improper usage of "there").

Patient : Google+

Diagnosis : Avoidant Personality Disorder
Google+ suffers from feelings of inadequacy when compared to others (Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace... Even Xanga). The website desires relationships with others, but remain socially isolated due to a constant fear of rejection.
Feelings of inferiority have molded this great shell of a website into something strangely forgettable.

Patient : Reddit

Diagnosis : Asperger's
Disorder is characterized by repetitive behavior (evidenced by the users' apparent joy of up arrows posted links), problems with social relationships (noted via numerous awkward penguin memes), while still maintaining normal or increased intelligence.

Patient : MySpace

Diagnosis : Schizophrenia
Website is suffering from a chronic disorder with periods of psychosis, disturbed thought, and decline in functioning for the past few years. Website experiences disorganized behavior with difficulty in regards to its identity. The website is haunted by auditory hallucinations, primarily from undiscovered local and international rock bands and suffers from illusions that filling a homepage with disordered array of pictures will entice individuals to sign-up.

Patient : Craigslist

Diagnosis : Borderline Personality Disorder
This website is extremely wild and riddled with unstable relationships, both common signs of the disorder. The website's content has no filter, resulting in scary, sometimes violent outbursts that threaten those around it.
Take caution while visiting this website, because it is about two more blatant prostitute requests from being criminal.

Patient : Fox News

Diagnosis : Paranoid Personality Disorder
Website shows a pervasive distrust of others. The level of suspiciousness impairs its ability of being a responsible news organization.
Website may use projection as a major defense mechanism (for example, claiming other news organizations are biased, due to fear of themselves being called biased).

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